Sunday, September 23, 2012

Daughters, Women and Anger


"Nurse: Mubarak ho, aapki bahu ki ladki hui hai!
Mother-in-law: Oh! Pakka? Chalo koi baat nahi. Agli baar hee sahi!"

"Rapist: Galti uski thi, usne jeans pehen rakhi thi, mujhse khud ko roka nahi gaya.
Judge: He is right! What was she doing on the road at 7.30 pm anyways? She must be a whore!"

"Scriptwriter: Sir, is jagah gaane ki zarurat nahi hai, yeh out of story ho jayega.
Producer: Bina item song ke aaj kal, public ko majja nahi aata. Jab tak screen pe jhatke na dikhein, koi nahi dekhne aayega film."

Yes, yes! I hear it every day, everywhere. I switch on the television, pick up the newspaper, surf the net, I see it, I know it. This was never a woman's country and it still isn't. Hating to admit I am terrified of the society and the deteriorating psyche of the people. I take my writer's liberty here to make it a rant blog but all the while ensuring that each and every word I write stands for nothing but the truth.

Even after being born in a liberal, educated family where they welcomed the birth of a girl child, gave us endless love and encouragement in life to achieve whatever we wanted to, there have always been times where my mother (of 2 daughters) was never spared the trouble of being taunted and questioned. From the postman to her own siblings and relatives, everyone made sure to let it be known to her that she is, in fact, an inferior mortal to have had borne "TWO DAUGHTERS & NOT EVEN ONE SON?" I used to laugh at those people when I was younger without understanding why they asked such funny questions. It is only after growing up I began to understand the discrimination and prejudices that were served left, right and centre to a family of only daughters. After all we are just "bojh and paraya dhan" for our parents. No LOLs!

Hailing from a science background, I know it isn't neither a female's fault nor is it in her biology to even decide/determine/choose the gender of the baby she might birth. But let's keep the technicalities aside. We all must have heard this before plenty of times, but those who were born with the anti-woman mindset, well they would continue drowning little baby girls in milk or the holy river.

Now whichever high pedestal sitting defender of the law of an idiot warned women to not wear "provocative clothes", should pay heed to this point. Just like any other working girl in the city, I end up wearing clothes covering me from head to toe (thanks to the Delhi heat, protection of hair and skin is mandatory). I step out of the house with my nerdy glasses, full sleeved loose kurtas, baggy jeans, covered feet and a massive tent like head scarf sans make up. I do not commute alone post 8 pm no matter whatever the circumstances be. So please to tell Sir McShitbrains, why am I still subjected to constant eve-teasing/stares/lewd remarks on the road at 11 in the morning on a busy street?

For obvious reasons you will put it on me somehow on me and my dressing sense or with the same ease with which you brand every female in the city as a "prostitute", you may just tag me as just one of "them".   

A country of urban foeticide and female infanticides, our dear media has left no stone unturned in objectifying women either. And thanks to the latest "role models" like Poonam Pandey and Sherlyn "Shocking" Chopra, it is just all the more spectacular that the media and masses have accepted them as future inspirations for girls of this country. They are branded as "empowered women". How can I thank you more? For teaching us rape-infested society that all you need to become successful is to strip down to your birthday suit and behold!

Now I may be bordering on being orthodox but I am also paranoid. Paranoid as a woman, paranoid as a daughter, paranoid as a female employee, paranoid as an aunt, paranoid as a future wife and mother. In this country, in these times, on this day I rant and then I go quiet! 

But it will not stop here. It shouldn't stop today. The voice and the pride that I enjoy to be where and what I am will not be silenced after one angry blog. 


Oh also, a very Happy Daughter's Day on a Sunday!

Because I am proud of me and my amazing little sister!



7 comments:

Kanny said...

Thank u sis, for saying ur proud of me. I love u and for the talent that lives in u. The fire that burns in u. Never let it extinguish. This is very well written, and makes my heart ache and my eyes wet. I LOVE U!

Anika Verma said...

Thank you my little sunshine! Yes we've seen it, we've borne the worst. It's time to shine and kick ass! Yes I wont be silenced just like that. I have much more to say and I will say it. Keep it strong chhotu! Love you too!

Anonymous said...

God Bless You.This country was not always like this.It has fallen down after its epitome of modernization,Things will get better.. God bless you :))

Anonymous said...

Hey, you write well, and any work against sexism is well accept, by me at least!
But I might like to suggest a few things to you. The colour combination makes it a lil hard on us readers to read the wonderful work. So, basically the dark gray background and the half white text is what I am referring to. See if it is possible for you to write on white background. Keep writing.. May the flame in the heart of this woman never burn out!

Megha Sarin said...

Great post. love the narration.

love
http://www.meghasarin.com

Vetirmagal said...

A fine post . Full of anger and frustration and pride.

It is hard for young women to travel in the cities. They need lots of courage to ignore those lewd idiots.

It is no longer a stigma to have only daughters. In fact daughters are preferred over sons by young couples. Things are definitely changing for the better, and daughters are treated as treasures.



Anika Verma said...

Thank you all!
(Sorry for the late replies, some problem with the notifications)

Ranting shan't stop here :) more opinions welcome!