Daughters, Women and Anger

"Nurse: Mubarak ho, aapki bahu ki ladki hui hai!

Mother-in-law: Oh! Pakka? Chalo koi baat nahi. Agli baar hee sahi!"

"Rapist: Galti uski thi, usne jeans pehen rakhi thi, mujhse khud ko roka nahi gaya.

Judge: He is right! What was she doing on the road at 7.30 pm anyways? She must be a whore!"

"Scriptwriter: Sir, is jagah gaane ki zarurat nahi hai, yeh out of story ho jayega.

Producer: Bina item song ke aaj kal, public ko majja nahi aata. Jab tak screen pe jhatke na dikhein, koi nahi dekhne aayega film."

Yes, yes! I hear it every day, everywhere. I switch on the television, pick up the newspaper, surf the net, I see it, I know it. This was never a woman's country and it still isn't. Hating to admit I am terrified of the society and the deteriorating psyche of the people. I take my writer's liberty here to make it a rant blog but all the while ensuring that each and every word I write stands for nothing but the truth.

Even after being born in a liberal, educated family where they welcomed the birth of a girl child, gave us endless love and encouragement in life to achieve whatever we wanted to, there have always been times where my mother (of 2 daughters) was never spared the trouble of being taunted and questioned. From the postman to her own siblings and relatives, everyone made sure to let it be known to her that she is, in fact, an inferior mortal to have had borne "TWO DAUGHTERS & NOT EVEN ONE SON?" I used to laugh at those people when I was younger without understanding why they asked such funny questions. It is only after growing up I began to understand the discrimination and prejudices that were served left, right and centre to a family of only daughters. After all we are just "bojh and paraya dhan" for our parents. No LOLs!

Hailing from a science background, I know it isn't neither a female's fault nor is it in her biology to even decide/determine/choose the gender of the baby she might birth. But let's keep the technicalities aside. We all must have heard this before plenty of times, but those who were born with the anti-woman mindset, well they would continue drowning little baby girls in milk or the holy river.

Now whichever high pedestal sitting defender of the law of an idiot warned women to not wear "provocative clothes", should pay heed to this point. Just like any other working girl in the city, I end up wearing clothes covering me from head to toe (thanks to the Delhi heat, protection of hair and skin is mandatory). I step out of the house with my nerdy glasses, full sleeved loose kurtas, baggy jeans, covered feet and a massive tent like head scarf sans make up. I do not commute alone post 8 pm no matter whatever the circumstances be. So please to tell Sir McShitbrains, why am I still subjected to constant eve-teasing/stares/lewd remarks on the road at 11 in the morning on a busy street?

For obvious reasons you will put it on me somehow on me and my dressing sense or with the same ease with which you brand every female in the city as a "prostitute", you may just tag me as just one of "them".   

A country of urban foeticide and female infanticides, our dear media has left no stone unturned in objectifying women either. And thanks to the latest "role models" like Poonam Pandey and Sherlyn "Shocking" Chopra, it is just all the more spectacular that the media and masses have accepted them as future inspirations for girls of this country. They are branded as "empowered women". How can I thank you more? For teaching us rape-infested society that all you need to become successful is to strip down to your birthday suit and behold!

Now I may be bordering on being orthodox but I am also paranoid. Paranoid as a woman, paranoid as a daughter, paranoid as a female employee, paranoid as an aunt, paranoid as a future wife and mother. In this country, in these times, on this day I rant and then I go quiet! 

But it will not stop here. It shouldn't stop today. The voice and the pride that I enjoy to be where and what I am will not be silenced after one angry blog. 

Oh also, a very Happy Daughter's Day on a Sunday!

Because I am proud of me and my amazing little sister!

WE THE PEOPLE

We the people, from the greatest ancient civilisation that exists no more. We the people, with a glorious past of invasions, colonisations and independence. We the people, who finally got the privilege of being a part of the world's largest democracy, handed over that power back due to ignorance.

Firstly, we have to steer past this tag bestowed to us by the world of being a race of "humble, hospitable and honest" people. Let us get real! Idealistic patriotism is not just redundant but, truly, doesn't hold any relevance in the present scenario. Here there is a vast difference when I talk about India, the country and Indians, the people.

For instance, we are a generation of instant gratifications living in the times of newsflashes. Our daily agenda is to wake up, read the papers and dismiss the government's lack of efficiency, blame it for the rampant corruption and crimes and then step out for work forgetting it all in a millisecond. For obvious reasons, we have to work and support our families, earn livelihood and pay taxes. We enjoy complaining about traffic, sanitary conditions, politics, weather, family issues and the list goes on. We celebrate every Indian victory in cricket like it is a festival bigger than Diwali. But amidst this chaos and humdrum we call life, little do we realise the undercurrents of national decay we are facing. Some of us are a little more aware to practically see it, but most of us take a look at an issue as a stand-alone incident and move on.

The advantages however of living in the times of honour killings, rapes, human trafficking, social media and monitored freedom of speech is that it turns any thinking individual into a cynic. If it fails to do so, every other person becomes an online activist instead.

As another girl in the capital, my greatest relief is to reach home safely after work or any outing. My greatest achievement is nothing more than a day of unscathed self-respect caused by some uncouth co-passenger, a passer-by on the road or people known to me. The unjustness of this society, discrimination towards women, especially, isn't new. I may be hailing from a liberal, educated family who doesn't interfere with my affairs but instances can be cited where I observe these prejudices, this unfairness of basic attitude from both men and women and me being treated with disrespect by someone or the other at all levels. People being judgmental with their biased morality is an almost daily occurrence.

Forget the government banning social media sites and arresting cartoonists, forget the police blaming women for living like normal people and walking around in the clothes of their choice, forget about political leaders with over 2000 pending charges of arson and mass murders roaming scot-free, it is about 'we the people' before even considering to talk about the system.

We the people of the largest democracy in the world are doing nothing but letting the power slip away from our hands. The power to guard our rights doesn't lie with us anymore. The list of social and moral crimes is endless before even coming to talk about federal felonies.

Keeping one's city clean is no big task. We all want cleaner sidewalks, hygienic living conditions and nicely lit streets. It is just a simple matter of not littering or spitting. Talking of great historic civilisation of the same people seems laughable as one looks at the absence of basic civic sense. But beyond this, no amount of preaching works. 

But being a cynic doesn't really prepare one for optimism. Now does it?