I was wondering today where do we stand as a society, have we really progressed in terms of culture and lifestyles? People say we do!! I want to know are we really free to do what we really want to do? I m certain we are! But who decides what is right or wrong? Family, friends, colleagues or us? Why I ask marriage is such a big deal even today? It certainly is for the spending party i.e. the girl n her helpless parents whereas the opposite party gets an all expenses paid trip to the land of free gifts, extravagant feasts, fun and frolic yet they have all the rights and guts to grumble about that Gulaabjamun that didn’t taste so good in the wedding.
As a female I want to ask why do I have to get married before turning 25? I m not talking about a small town conservative family setup, I mean living in the capital of the country in a family which claims it is as modern as renaissance in the 16th century, who are spending lakhs on my education after school, are ready to shell out even more for my MBAs and various professional diplomas. I m talking about the mall-culture family. Why is it when I turn 24, they start getting uncomfortable with the sight of me earning a 6-figured salary and leading a financially independent and a professionally respected life? Why do they want my money should go into the pockets of my in-laws? I have no complaints with what I have, its payback time for me, pay my family back everything they have given to me since the moment of my existence. Monetarily, emotionally I want to take care of them now without them worrying about monthly bills. Why do they start getting uneasy when my 25th birthday year begins? They start asking all our relatives to suggest a “good boy” for me, go through matrimony websites that is only if they are that tech-savvy and secretly print ads in the matrimony section of the classifieds.
They start spending sleepless nights over thinking about my marriage. If I have a boyfriend they start bugging him too asking him all sorts of questions regarding his career, his family, his future plans, his ideologies which were never asked in our courtship of 4 years and god save me if he is my age or younger. I still am talking about the same ultramodern mall hopping family. He would be considered immature and ineligible someone unworthy of me. Well how does that matter now when we have been in love for years and they been updated with his every step already? Well that’s not my point here. I mean I maybe on the threshold of a promotion or a transfer to the office abroad with a raise but I still would be questioningly eyed around because I m almost 25 and not engaged. People start making indirect digs at me between their conversations over a cup of tea at get-togethers or family parties like their obedient daughters are well settled with “respectable” lawyers and CEOs in
I totally agree with Rani Mukherjee in Hum Tum when she asks everyone to back off from fixing her up with strangers “Why don’t people take a hike from getting every girl married?” Is that the only thing a girl is born to do? A very relevant question indeed. I haven’t been vindicating all this while that people should change overnight because a handful of girls have questioned their ethos by being very vocal about their preferences in life. But all I want from this society is that it should stop interfering and judging my life and respect the notion of individuality and personal choice after all I never advised to have or not have their second baby or their third car to anybody.
Marriage clearly should and will happen only when I am ready for it in all respects and not because I blew 24 candles on the cake this year till then I am content dancing at other people’s nuptial ceremonies.
